in the shadows

You've seen it in movies, the hero is struggling to stay a float after being locked into a room that is filling with water. Their head tilted back, grasping at the last few breaths of air before they're gone. Your heart is racing and you're wondering how they're going to get out, they have to make it out!

Everything is closing in on you. You don't know why, you can't figure out why you'd be depressed, there's no reason you should be. That's the pisser of depression, it comes out of no where. You can be having a great day, things are going well and it snatches you like a thief in the night.

You think you feel the hands of the thief closing around your neck, but you wake up to see nothing. So you go back to sleep, thinking you're just imaging things. It happens the next night. But everything is fine, the house is locked, you have a dog that's not barking and you haven't heard a thing that would cause you to worry. You thought you had been checking the shadows, but apparently not enough.

Then it comes and snatches you. You're in a dark room feeling isolated, the more isolated you feel, the more you seek comfort in the loneliness. You're left wondering how you missed the warning signs and didn't see it coming.

You finally see a small stream of light coming in from the top of the dark room. You realize you're in a pit that has slick muddy walls. You have to climb out, but you start to climb and you only slide back down. Finally after sitting there long enough, beating yourself up for not being able to climb the wall of mud, you see a hand reaching out to you. You get yourself up one more time and go for the biggest jump of your life, you connect hands and scramble your way up the wall to the light.

Depression. Addiction. That easily describes both of these. They come out of no where. You think you have your depression licked or you think you're well rooted in your recovery. Both you're feeling great and on top of the world.

If you're at the bottom of the pit don't give up, look for that light and don't be afraid to jump for the hand wanting to help you up. If you're out of the pit, extend your hand out to help someone in need. It gets better, ride the wave. The pendulum will come swing back the other way. You've still got work to do, people to help and life to live.