Happy and no buts

I find that when I ask someone if they're happy, I usually get a "yes, but..." With advances in technology, science and overall quality of life, seems like we're always wanting something more.

I had a friend tell me "you made such an amazing transformation in 2012." That statement really caused me to stop and reflect. I thought about the last year and realized that I'm not really any different physically. I'm still short, still very overweight, more in debt, not any closer to being married.

But then I really looked deeper. I AM different. My mental health is the best its ever been. My relationship with others are dynamic and rich. I'M HAPPY WITH NO BUTS.

Do I wish I was skinnier, less in debt, more successful at work, in a romantic relationship? Sure. Does any of this define my happiness? For the first time in my life, I can honestly answer NO.

This past year I really took care of myself and put myself first. I had a year with less resentments and more gratitude. Not everything fell into place or went my way, I had a lot of let down, heartbreak and frustrations. But I knew I could choose happiness in any situation. Making myself happy is an inside job, and I fully embraced that in 2012, I can't expect anything or anyone to make me happy. People, things and experiences can only enhance my core state of happiness.

I know I'm doing what I need to to improve the areas of my life that I'm not satisfied with. Every day I try to work on those areas a little bit more. I'm trusting in a higher power and doing the leg work for improvements. I'm so grateful that my friend made this observation and shared it with me, because the reflection has been powerful.

2013 is going to be even better, I can just feel it.

This blog is dedicated to my dad as I didn't use a SINGLE curse word. I can't fucking believe it. whoops...