I dropped Brian off at his house and drove myself to JC Penney so I could get a front close bra. So I got welcomed to the broken clavicle club by several of my hard core cycle friends. They are all male, I bet they didn't have to worry about putting on a bra by themselves.
I walk into the store and enter the lingerie department. No one to be found, I look a few sections over in each direction, only men. So I realize I'm going to have to go this one solo. I start bawling. Like uncontrollable crying. Tears gushing down my face, chin quivering crying. Which fuck, makes my ribs hurt, which causes me to cry more.
I finally find some front close bras, like the kind your 90 year old grandma wears (no offense!) and they of course are on the bottom shelf of this display. I can't bend over really well as my shoulder throbs and my ribs feel like they're going to poke through my skin. So I lower myself to my knees, put the bra package in my teeth and use the display to pull myself back up to my feet with my good arm. All while crying and praying this entire rack doesn't come down on me.
I look for the dressing room. Who am I kidding, I'm about running on "E" at this point and realize that if I get my shirt off to try this on, it's probably game over for energy and the shirt is not going back on. So I go in the corner and take the sling off and try the bra on over my shirt. Now I'm crying more as I'm in pain, mortified and feeling sorry for myself. I'm sure it was quite the scene for anyone walking by.
I then try my hardest to stop crying and wipe the tears from my eyes so I can go check out. While I'm doing this, I think "stop it Chrissy. You have so many people that love and care about you, you could probably even call someone right now to come to the store to help you. Pull your shit together." It makes me think about some of our team members at BoMF. Some of our members only have our running family to help them in times of need. This puts a lot in perspective for me. It makes me more proud that I'm a part of something that helps others in such a profound way that so many of us (including me) take for granted. It also makes me feel even more compassion for what our members and the homeless in general are going through.
I get home and start unpacking my tri bag so the wet stuff can get washed. I see my helmet for the first time. A brand new as of Wednesday night, $240 helmet. One that at the time, I wasn't sure I really needed. But my other race helmet fit a little small and hurt my head and was about 10 years old. I see how scuffed and banged up it is. It hits me like a ton of bricks, although my injuries are pretty insignificant, it could be a lot worse. What would have happened if I didn't buy that helmet? Would I even be here typing or would I be in the ICU in Augusta?
I know things happen for a reason. I may have to pull myself out of a pity party from time to time during this recovery process, but I know that through it all, I am so lucky and blessed.
More to come later about the accident, I did pause my Garmin, you know, that important stuff.
Thanks for the love and support.
